Cramps in my pants!

Whenever I get cramps, I get a little crazy. A) From the pain, and B) because I'm usually drunk. Instead of popping pills for my pain, I drink instead. I feel it's healthier. And more fun. So, when the insanity hits, I always feel a song coming on! And, I LOVE singing songs about my cramps. I suppose it's my own way of amusing myself while I'm sliding off the couch in pain....and drunk.

Here goes!

I got cramps in my pants,
cramps in my pants,
take a shot of jack and
do a little dance

I wish my cramps would diiiiieeeeeeeeeee....
I wish my cramps would die!

I sit in agony,
watching reruns and talk shows,
while sipping on vodka and really cheap merlot,
I got bad cramps.
I gooooot bad cramps.

Sometimes I sit on the couch
and stare at the kitchen
dreaming about
cutting it all fucking ouuuuuuut,
My ovaries and everything.

When I'm sitting at the fireplace
smoking like a chimney,
I look down below,
wishing there was a boy's pee-peeeeeeeee....
wishing there was a boy's pee-pee

I always told myself,
God must be a male,
to give us periods and childbirth,
and make us bloated like a whaaaaaaale....

I have bad cramps!

The End.