Family

SUCKS. Especially mine (and I'm NOT referring to my immediate family, like my brother, Mom, Dad, and my new hubby). I'm talking about my entire extended family. I'm not sure why, but every time I think or talk about any one of them, I feel my blood temperature elevating to dangerous levels. Like boiling.

Well, I guess I do know why. ALL OF THEM are blood-sucking, money-hungry, back-stabbing, selfish, egotistic, lying, materialistic motherfuckers. I just wish I had the balls to say that to their faces. Instead, I sit here at my lovely desk, sipping on some cheap Merlot which thankfully, mends the painful urge to rip out and feed them their own colons.

The hardest part, though, is seeing all of them repeatedly and having to put on a "happy" face, for lack of bigger balls, which I mentioned above. If I was moving out of state, I would gladly pick up the phone and spend half a day (because that's all it's worth) telling all of them what giant pieces of shit they are. I just think they are SO self-involved that they wouldn't be bothered by it.

I've come to a conclusion that makes me happy. They can't be happy. How could such miserable, awful people be happy? It's just not possible. They are probably drowning in their own moral filth. Their personality droppings. Their bad attitude feces and their cold-hearted clots. I wouldn't be happy just for the sake of seeing other people unhappy, but I would be happy to know others are unhappy for justice's sake. And whoever the DA is in this case, thank you for bringing such thrilling justice to a group of undeserving people.

By the off-chance that any one of my lovely relatives would come across this homage, please take this into consideration: as you sit reading, pondering to yourself and stupidly developing the conclusion that 'she couldn't be talking about me--it must be everyone else,' I beg to differ. It is you. It is every single one of you with no exception.

But, considering it is the holiday season, I love Christmas and I feel like giving (something none of you can possibly conceive), you are deserving of something.

Each other.